Suddenly no longer a child: puberty in boys


During puberty, you often don’t recognize boys: a playful and lively child suddenly becomes a reserved, taciturn boy or an irritable curmudgeon. We explain what happens to boys during puberty, so you can get through this period well!

Just a few months ago he was talking nonstop excitedly when he got home from school. Now, after lunch, his path leads straight to his room. Just close the door. Puberty in boys is often not easy for the rest of the family either. But the pubescent is also in a process where he can use support. To be able to give this, it is important that parents first understand what happens to their child during puberty.

What happens during puberty in boys?

Puberty in boys usually starts a little later than puberty in girls. But already with the onset of pre-puberty between the ages of 10 and 13, the first changes are heralded when the production of the sex hormone testosterone increases. This is where body contouring begins.

  • Growth: Kids are growing by leaps and bounds, especially between the ages of 13 and 17. Pubescent boys therefore not only get taller, but also in width, because muscle mass in particular increases significantly. Bone and muscle mass in boys doubles by the end of puberty.
  • vocal break: Between the ages of 11 and 16, the larynx grows and the vocal cords lengthen. During this period, a voice often cracks. You can tell by the fact that your child’s voice may cut out or that he suddenly speaks particularly high-pitched or croaked. This extreme phase usually only lasts about six months. From then on, your son suddenly has a much darker, more masculine voice.
  • Skin: The sharp increase in the sex hormone testosterone often leads to excessive sebum production, which can lead to oily skin, blemishes or even acne.
  • Hair: The scalp also quickly becomes oily due to increased sebum production, which often makes the hair greasy at the root.
  • Fluff: Body hair doesn’t just grow on the arms, legs, and chest. Pubic hair also grows under the armpits and in the genital area, as well as the first growth of beard on the upper lip, chin and cheeks – initially as a delicate down, then becoming more and more thick.
  • sweat production: This also increases speed during puberty in boys. And so growing men often and quickly develop stronger body odor. Now is the time to explain to your child that he should shower more often and that using deodorant can be very helpful.
  • genitals: The penis and testicles grow and the first sperm are formed.
  • Brain: Many processes take place here during puberty. The limbic system, responsible for emotions, matures faster than the front of the brain. Therefore, especially during puberty, feelings have the upper hand and not reason. This often leads to decisions that are difficult for adults to understand. Only from 14./15. year of life, this “phase of chaos” ends slowly and your child becomes “more reasonable”.
  • sleep cycle: How the sleep-wake cycle is controlled changes during puberty, which means that pubescent boys are often up late at night and have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. However, adequate sleep is important during puberty, and it’s not uncommon for teenagers to catch up on sleep over the weekend.

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How do boys behave during puberty?

The changes in one’s body and emotional world during puberty aren’t easy for many kids. There are often strong emotions and rapidly changing mood swings that teenagers find difficult to deal with. Anger, aggression, being annoyedbut also insecurity and sadness – puberty can be a pure roller coaster ride of emotions.

  • whims: Testosterone has a strong influence on sensations and can trigger aggression. Thus, during puberty, when testosterone levels are high, sudden outbursts of anger can occur rapidly.
  • separation from parents: During puberty, the big questions arise: “Who am I?” and “What will become of me?”. That is why teenage boys are now looking for role models to find their identity and are experimenting with their roles. This often happens in contrast to their parents. To find their own way, children are increasingly leaving their parents’ home and friends are becoming the most important social contacts. Much of what used to be okay for mom and dad is now embarrassing. Don’t worry – it will settle again.
  • carelessness: Boys in puberty tend to act reckless. The reason: The prefrontal cortex in the brain, which is responsible for risk assessment and self-perception, is only formed last.
  • Self-confidence weakened: Self-reflection in adolescents increases during puberty. Suddenly, one’s behavior is being scrutinized from all sides and questioned, which often goes hand in hand with a lower level of self-confidence. Pubescents usually assume that others will judge their behavior the same way, which can create great uncertainty.
  • want to belong: Peer pressure is a big problem during puberty in both boys and girls. Teens want to belong and they don’t want to miss out on anything. As most social interaction nowadays takes place via social networks such as Whatsapp, Instagram or Tiktok, young people are closely tied to their smartphones or computers. Here it is important to find a good compromise so that the children can feel integrated in the group, but also not be stuck in front of the screen without stopping.
  • First love: During puberty, both boys and girls are more likely to experience their first feelings of infatuation, relationships, and sexual activity. These experiences are usually shared mostly with friends and not with parents.

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10 tips on how to deal with puberty well with your boyfriend

1. Show understanding

Tantrums, irrational decisions, withdrawal – now you know that all of this is completely normal during your child’s puberty. Be understanding, even if it is sometimes difficult and the first impulse is different.

2. Concrete help with strong emotions

Does your child not control his emotions? help him calm down. Let him go into her room or take a short walk to calm the first waves. Maybe he’ll be willing to talk later. In order for him to have better control over his feelings about him in the future and to be able to understand them better, you can advise him the following:

  • Playing sports
  • listening to music
  • write diary
  • write down emotions
  • talk to friends
  • Learn relaxation techniques such as autogenic training, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation or yoga

You can read about how meditation works for kids here

3. Establish clear rules

With all understanding, of course there are limits and your child should know about them. They are as important as a certain amount of free space, because Rules and boundaries give your child direction in this turbulent time Candies. You should discuss the rules with your child and explain them concretely so that they are understandable to him. Compromises can also be worked out together. This gives your child the feeling that they can have a say.

For this purpose, for example, it should also Rules on family coexistence belong, like doing laundry or cleaning.

4. Offer your support

Even if young people react harshly and negatively, they often long for security and understanding. Let your child know that you are always there and support him with problems and challenges Want.

5. Be observant

Even if you want to give your child space, stay alert. Pornography, drugs, alcohol – he may be experiencing them now and you should be experiencing them be reasonably well informed to be able to intervene if necessary. It’s also helpful to know what your child is doing on the Internet. However, you shouldn’t spy on it. There should be a balance between control and freedom, not an easy feat.

It can be helpful to exchange ideas with other parents, such as the fathers and mothers of your friends.

6. No long lessons

The criticism is not yet particularly pronounced in most pubescents and is difficult to bear. Therefore, you can Confidently save on lessons and reprimands. Stay specific and clear, and try to communicate best in I-messages. Not: “You did poorly in school.” Caro: “I’m worried because your grades are going down a bit.”

7. Give your child responsibility

The times of mere paternalism are over. Your boyfriend needs to learn make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. So let him decide more and more for himself, but offer your help in a decision-making process.

This also includes taking on certain tasks around the house. As a member of the family, your child should at the latest learn to take responsibility within the family and contribute something to the coexistence.

8. Keep the character

Many fathers and mothers make the mistake of wanting to consider themselves friends of their children and behave as such. However, you have a duty of care, which means that you guide your child in his physical and mental development. So just being a “good friend” isn’t enough. You should stand by him with advice and action and also show him clearly when he is going too far.

9. Talk, talk, talk, …

Of course, you shouldn’t force deep conversations on your child all the time. It would definitely have the opposite effect. But use certain situations for a little chat and let him see it that you are interested in him and that you are there for him. This can happen while eating together or during a short trip.

10. Talk about your experiences

Tell him about your youth and your experiences. This is especially helpful when you first fall in love. if you tell him as you were thenhe might even open up and be able to talk about it.



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