This is how you teach your child how to overcome challenges and learn from mistakes. With a few simple tips you can build confidence in yourself and your child.
Parents want to prepare their children for life’s challenges. A good way to do this is to teach them mental toughness early on. Mentally strong children not only have high self-esteem and the courage to realize their potential, but they are also resilient, staying positive in the face of challenges and learning from their mistakes.
Sounds almost too good to be true? There are actually some things you can do as a parent to help your child develop these qualities. Step by step, of course. After all, hardly any adult can claim to deal with resistance in everyday life in this healthy way.
So it’s a good opportunity to practice mental strength directly on your own. Children learn more from their parents as role models. So a first step is to set goals for yourself and show your child that you are doing something to grow and achieve your goals.
Trust your child
When it comes to their child, many parents have a strong protective instinct and would like to protect them from all unpleasant sensations and situations. But to build self-confidence, your child needs the experience of going through something scary and coming out of it unscathed. Help your child face their fears. Are you afraid of meeting new people? Together, think of helpful phrases they can say to connect. Or help your child make appointments.
Daily tip: Instead of reassuring “Don’t worry!”, try teaching your child strategies for what to do when he’s worried. Depending on your age, it sometimes helps to change your perspective and ask, “What would you recommend to your friend in this situation?”
Allow for negative feelings
Instead of telling your child, “Calm down,” show him that it’s okay to get angry and vent feelings like anger, resentment, despair, or sadness. There is no need to encourage them in such situations. Feel free to try and help your child regulate their emotions.
So, if he’s prone to tantrums, an anger box that contains tips for coping with the feeling might be helpful. The important thing is to feel feelings instead of suppressing them. Children who know their emotions and know how to manage them respond better to challenges. Plus, they feel loved and accepted regardless of their mood. This also contributes to self-esteem.
Let your child make mistakes
Teach your child that mistakes are an important part of learning. Talk about what they learned from it and what they would like to do differently next time. Focus on the fact that the process is more important than the result.Because if your child thinks he should always be perfect or the best, this creates an unrealistic pressure of expectations. There is also the danger that any failure will destroy his self-image. However, if the focus is on growth, this ensures that your child believes in their own developmental potential and that setbacks don’t lead them off course.
Daily Tip: Praise the effort your child puts in, not the result. So if she’s beaming and holding a piece of art in front of you and you want to shout, “That was beautiful!”, instead try nonjudgmentally: “Such a colorful picture! I see you put a lot of effort into it.”
Take responsibility for your feelings
If you teach your child that he can control how he thinks, feels and behaves, this is the best prerequisite for resilience in all situations. To show that they are responsible for their own actions and that their feelings aren’t anyone else’s fault, lead by example. Not blaming your child for ruining your day in stressful situations. It helps if, after an argument, you explain that you are responsible for your anger, annoyance, irritation and that you take care of it – your child does not have to do this through his behavior.
Everyday tip: In this context, you can talk to your child about the self-care methods you use to deal with stress. Encourage them to find out what kinds of activities they can do to help them relax and let go.
Look at the strengths
It can be just as effective if you teach your child to look at each other with respect and love. If he again despairs of properties that he sees as supposed weaknesses, try to find together the strengths that lie behind them. In psychology we speak of “reforming”, reinterpretation of the situation. Your son is not too slow, but conscientious. He’s not dreamy, he’s creative. Of course, you shouldn’t sugarcoat every behavior. But more often than not it builds your child’s confidence in himself rather than drawing attention to what he supposedly he can’t do.
Practice gratitude
A wonderful antidote to self-pity is to practice gratitude with your child. This helps to focus on the good even on bad days. This lifts spirits and confidence in self-efficacy. True to the motto: You cannot change circumstances, but how you deal with them.
Sources used: cnbc.com, verywellfamily.com, parents.com
