I barely remember the days confined. Those months remain in my memory in a nebula. One morning I made pancakes for my children and one afternoon I followed an online ‘twerking’ class. I say “I continued” because what I do there cannot be called participation, although at least I confirmed that I do not know how to move my ass.
From confinement I have forgotten almost everything I did, all I remember are sensations. The collective paranoia every time you went to the supermarket; you could touch fear, but especially that shared feeling of amazement, of not knowing very well what you have to do.
That helplessness hit you especially in the greengrocer section, when you tried to open a bag with the plastic holders on. Few times have I felt more useless. It was as simple as taking them off for a second, opening it and putting them back on. However, the vast majority of us were there, fighting with gloves, bags and dignity. I made a lot of friends trying to buy apples I was pleased to see that I was not the only sheep, I felt accompanied in my foolishness. One told me that he had developed a foolproof technique for opening the bag with gloves on. And the worst thing is that I listened to it with my utmost attention.
In my community it has just been removed the curfew. I don’t know when we assume those words so normally in our vocabulary. During these months, I have found myself saying to my oldest son, every time he went out in the afternoon: “Remember to come back before curfew.” Maybe it’s silly, but It makes me sad that among his teenage memories are those words. Curfew, confinement, mask, hydroalcoholic gel, safety distance … they are far from the names and adjectives I expected for these years of flowering.
Here we no longer have a curfew and the worst thing is that We even celebrate that they stop forbidding us to go out at night. That happens when you assume as normality what is only chaos and sadness. I have at least promised myself never to try to open a bag with plastic gloves on again. I hope to fulfill it, that I do not forget.