Reconciling this summer is possible if you ask yourself these questions

Carlota Fominaya

MADRID

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With the arrival of June and the end of the school year, the puzzle of family reconciliation also arrives. Summers still have almost three months for the little ones in the house, but adults only have one month of vacation a year: combining work and personal life in summer is still a pending issue for many families in our country when these hot days approach. Both for those who are physically going to the office or to their positions, as well as for those who continue to telework today.

The conciliation, denounce the organizations involved, continues to suspend in our country. “Families do not have it easy at all, we have never had it. A country is being built for other realities, for other groups, but not essentially, which is in the families that bring children into the world and educate them in responsibility… ”, denounces Roberto Martínez, director of the Másfamilia Foundation. This institution specializes in recognizing companies that are committed to conciliation, “that take a little step forward and do not put themselves in profile. But neither can we download this whole issue from the company side, ”acknowledges this expert.

Of the same opinion is Usué Madinaveitia, a coach specialized in conciliation and creator of the concepts #mamiconcilia and #papiconcilia, for whom families should not sit and wait for the particular proposals presented by their company or the Government of the day. «I suggest that families take responsibility, ask themselves questions and try to realize what they really want… I think there are many people who are carried away by what society establishes. I see that there are parents who cry and what they verbalize is that they want to be with their children and others, on the contrary, that what they want is to develop their career. The latter must delegate the care of their children and remove the blame … But both options, with complete peace of mind. You have to be consistent with what you want and with your idea of ​​success in life. “We can ask the Government for help, but in the end the solution begins with ourselves, by expressing our needs and setting limits. Take control of your life, enjoy my family and your time, “he adds.

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Because despite the fact that the pandemic and the virus are still there, this summer “it seems that things are better than in the past, fresh from the long confinement that began in March. The lucky ones who can draw grandparents begin to see how they are all vaccinated and, although it is not the most suitable option, in many cases it is the one that is on the table ”, acknowledges Roberto Martínez. In general, Madinaveitia agrees, “I also think we are better, we see that the different existing initiatives focused on conciliation are moving and there is much more offer and much more space for leisure companies, camps …”.

Telework, from the negotiation

As for interesting business initiatives, they both share a number of suggestions. One of them is that of the companies that increase or offer telework days, “which are not the panacea but give the employee a certain peace of mind. What does have to be clear is that teleworking is not for caring. Do not fool anyone, it is not to care for children or the elderly. Although in the face of summer, leaving home at 7:00 in the morning and returning late in the afternoon, it is always a bit more reassuring if you can telework one day or two. But we must be aware that it is crazy for parents who take advantage of this, because the reality is that with one ear you attend to work and with the other the child who is demanding your attention ».

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“So much that we wanted to telecommute and now we complain. Perhaps after this year and a half of training, the time has come to start managing it from the negotiation with the company, with the couple and, even, with the children if they are old. That is, the parents explain to them what to do other things, and they, get bored. Nothing happens ”, suggests Madinaveitia.

Solutions by companies

Regarding another of the solutions offered by the companies from Fundación Másfamilia, “those that help their employees to find summer camps for their children, hire free-time monitors to carry out physical activities or crafts online, and even support initiatives financially. What other companies have is a summer permit, which allows you to take the month of July or August without pay, but without suspending payment to Social Security.

An idea in this sense, corroborates Madinaveitia, is to assess the leaves of absence during the summer. “Until the child is twelve years old, it is another way to organize. It is true that there are companies that do not accept it, or parents who think that this can slow down their career, but I return to the same thing: they must then ask themselves what premium in their life, motherhood or fatherhood or your career. Have you raised it and that has been obstacles? Sometimes these types of thoughts are only our mind, in the head. Do you know if someone has been fired from your company? Do you think you will not ascend? In my opinion, you have your whole life to ascend, take charge of your life, look at your needs and what you aspire to ».

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On the other hand, it is increasingly common, continues the creator of the concepts #mamiconcilia and #papiconciliaSee that there are couples who do not coincide on vacation. “There are people who do not overlap vacations with their partner and it works for them. They are children who spend 15 days with dad, 15 with mom, and the rest all together. There are other families, Madinaveitia also points out, «who agree with several parents from their social environment, from school, and on Monday they take care of the children, on Tuesdays others … So a family is unproductive on a specific day but the rest are not ».

The most important thing, concludes this expert, “is to be clear about your primary needs at this point in your life. Knowing that this is what we want to achieve, asking ourselves what is the best way to achieve it, and thinking about it among all the members of the family. It is possible to play with these concepts but above all you have to be clear about what success means for you, take responsibility in your life and power creativity ».

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